Drowning

I don’t get sick often. When I do I end up drowning in a pool of lethargy and chills. Today I am sick. I have the common cold. This begs the question which probably doesn’t get asked enough by the masses: What the hell is the common cold?

Why do we call it a cold? And why do I get it so bad? They say it’s contagious, right? Like it comes from touching or sneezing. But how do we know the precise moment that this hits our blood stream? These are questions, lots of questions. And I don’t need answers. I just want to drown in this soupy mass of snot and tears and congestion. I want to feel sorry for myself and have others feel sorry for me. Probably the only time I actually care about what other people are thinking of me.

Oh man, my hands are clammy.

Oh wait, I just lost my sh*t. Wait, no it’s okay. Screw Human Resource Management. Fever blisters of joyous rapture.

Oh man, I’ve lost it. It’s all good though. I like it. Feel sorry for me. Buy me a soup. Why do we eat soup when we are sick? The common cold—it’s all so dumb.

Commie bastards. Die scum sucker.

Late,
Dee