Observations and Good Byes
As I prepare to make my dashing exit from New York City and all of it's lovely entanglements I have been making some observations lately about this place that I wanted to relate and ramble.
And ramble I will. Some of these things may very well be re-hashed and talked about ad-nausem (whatever that phrase means; is it even a phrase?).
When I was living downtown in the East Village there was a wave of peculiar electrocutions going on in the street. You see people were walking around on the street and on the sidewalk crossing over those protective metal covers that hide the network of lies beneath the ground and some folks were getting quite a shock. A few dogs have died. I'm not sure if any humans prevailed but I just found it to be, almost unreal; like out of some movie. I picture these men behind video monitors(cameras facing intersections all over the city) and pushing this magic button every time somebody crossed one of these "hot plates." it's pretty messed up stuff that you can walk down the street minding your business and then, Zap you're a goner.
Haven't heard too much about it recently. I think Con Edison got hit pretty hard with some lawsuits or something. I have no knowledge of these things. But it really fascinates me.
How bout these people with their dog poop? I can tell you right now, if you walk down East 2nd Street between 1st Ave and Ave A you are going to be dodging some landmines. For some reason that block is shit central. I've seen other blocks like it. But I know first hand what it's like there. And these are monster dumps. Like Great Dane dumps. I know it's a real bitch to get down with your plastic bag and pick it up, but for the sake of odor and your neighbors please get down there and pick it up you moron.
Speaking of morons. Hey you people that decide who gets go on the upper level and the lower level of the George Washington Bridge why are you such dick heads? Listen, I don't have EZPass. Okay, there I said it. I don't own it. I pay my tolls the old fashioned way with dirty dollars. So just because I don't have EZPass I am subjected to the upper level only. And the upper level only means one thing right? Right? No matter what time of day, it's going to be at least 45 minutes. Meanwhile the lower level is just cruising right on in. I know this, I listen to your reports on 1010 WYNS. Do I have to be punished because I do not want to pay the price of progress and get myself and EZPass? It facinates me. That bridge is a peice of garbage. Everybody, I urge you, please avoid it at all costs.
You know what else fascinates me? The idea of bringing the Olympics to New York City. Can I just tell you how stupid this is? I'm going to try.
I think if I never lived here I might say, "Oh, Olympics. New York. Great idea." But I do live here I ride the subway, take cabs, go in elevators, walk through Time Square (not on purpose). I bump into people, they bump into me. It's a zoo. Literally, it's a zoo and we are a bunch of caged animals. So do you know what kind of thing would happened if the zoo let in a few million more animals in along with their horses and curling sticks (wait, that's the Winter Olympics)? It would be madness. The Olympics would be an absolute disaster.
And now in the age of terror and fear that we all live in we must pull even more and more resources to protect us all. Let's just take the Republican National Convention that took place here last year as an example. That was a bad idea. Not because 99% of the people who live here are strongly opposed to GW. Not because it was hot. Not because we are living in an age of terror and fear. But because New York City does not have the infastructure for these kinds of events. This is the land of concrete. The city that never sleeps. We have garbage trucks all day and night long. Street Sweepers. People. People. People. And so now we are going to put forth this grand master plan to host the world's bese athletes and make them get around all that stuff. It's just stupid. It's so dumb that I feel smarter for thinking the way I do.
But lets just face the truth here. The idea is not about the athletes or the ideals and principles behind the Olympics. It's about Politics. There is an agenda behind the idea. If Bloomberg and Pataki and GW are able to host this thing under their guise they will go down has heroes and innovators. They will make it as if New York can overcome and be better than before the terror.
And to me, as a New Yorker I just think it's shenanigans. The fact that people went to work on 9/12/01, continue to go to work, raise children, play softball in central park is more of an overcoming factor than going out and trying to prove a theory. The theory being: If we host the Olympics we will be some Fly Mo Fo's and no homies will mess with us again.
Dumbasses.
These things I say, I say because I love New York. And I am going to miss the little bitch. She has been really good to me. And I think I've been good to her. I'm only looking out for her best interest. So with that I will bid her adieu and all that jazz.
Latron,
Dee
And ramble I will. Some of these things may very well be re-hashed and talked about ad-nausem (whatever that phrase means; is it even a phrase?).
When I was living downtown in the East Village there was a wave of peculiar electrocutions going on in the street. You see people were walking around on the street and on the sidewalk crossing over those protective metal covers that hide the network of lies beneath the ground and some folks were getting quite a shock. A few dogs have died. I'm not sure if any humans prevailed but I just found it to be, almost unreal; like out of some movie. I picture these men behind video monitors(cameras facing intersections all over the city) and pushing this magic button every time somebody crossed one of these "hot plates." it's pretty messed up stuff that you can walk down the street minding your business and then, Zap you're a goner.
Haven't heard too much about it recently. I think Con Edison got hit pretty hard with some lawsuits or something. I have no knowledge of these things. But it really fascinates me.
How bout these people with their dog poop? I can tell you right now, if you walk down East 2nd Street between 1st Ave and Ave A you are going to be dodging some landmines. For some reason that block is shit central. I've seen other blocks like it. But I know first hand what it's like there. And these are monster dumps. Like Great Dane dumps. I know it's a real bitch to get down with your plastic bag and pick it up, but for the sake of odor and your neighbors please get down there and pick it up you moron.
Speaking of morons. Hey you people that decide who gets go on the upper level and the lower level of the George Washington Bridge why are you such dick heads? Listen, I don't have EZPass. Okay, there I said it. I don't own it. I pay my tolls the old fashioned way with dirty dollars. So just because I don't have EZPass I am subjected to the upper level only. And the upper level only means one thing right? Right? No matter what time of day, it's going to be at least 45 minutes. Meanwhile the lower level is just cruising right on in. I know this, I listen to your reports on 1010 WYNS. Do I have to be punished because I do not want to pay the price of progress and get myself and EZPass? It facinates me. That bridge is a peice of garbage. Everybody, I urge you, please avoid it at all costs.
You know what else fascinates me? The idea of bringing the Olympics to New York City. Can I just tell you how stupid this is? I'm going to try.
I think if I never lived here I might say, "Oh, Olympics. New York. Great idea." But I do live here I ride the subway, take cabs, go in elevators, walk through Time Square (not on purpose). I bump into people, they bump into me. It's a zoo. Literally, it's a zoo and we are a bunch of caged animals. So do you know what kind of thing would happened if the zoo let in a few million more animals in along with their horses and curling sticks (wait, that's the Winter Olympics)? It would be madness. The Olympics would be an absolute disaster.
And now in the age of terror and fear that we all live in we must pull even more and more resources to protect us all. Let's just take the Republican National Convention that took place here last year as an example. That was a bad idea. Not because 99% of the people who live here are strongly opposed to GW. Not because it was hot. Not because we are living in an age of terror and fear. But because New York City does not have the infastructure for these kinds of events. This is the land of concrete. The city that never sleeps. We have garbage trucks all day and night long. Street Sweepers. People. People. People. And so now we are going to put forth this grand master plan to host the world's bese athletes and make them get around all that stuff. It's just stupid. It's so dumb that I feel smarter for thinking the way I do.
But lets just face the truth here. The idea is not about the athletes or the ideals and principles behind the Olympics. It's about Politics. There is an agenda behind the idea. If Bloomberg and Pataki and GW are able to host this thing under their guise they will go down has heroes and innovators. They will make it as if New York can overcome and be better than before the terror.
And to me, as a New Yorker I just think it's shenanigans. The fact that people went to work on 9/12/01, continue to go to work, raise children, play softball in central park is more of an overcoming factor than going out and trying to prove a theory. The theory being: If we host the Olympics we will be some Fly Mo Fo's and no homies will mess with us again.
Dumbasses.
These things I say, I say because I love New York. And I am going to miss the little bitch. She has been really good to me. And I think I've been good to her. I'm only looking out for her best interest. So with that I will bid her adieu and all that jazz.
Latron,
Dee
11 Comments:
Hey Dee, Get an Ez-pass. You travel enough. Its like a cellphone, or even if you smoked, it would be like quitting, or like if you still have dial-up it would be time to get cable. Its called evolution bro! And even if they are thinking about taking it out of the schools you should learn it! And here's another kicker, it actually cost less! it does. Evolve. Try it, You'll like it.
See You iN Buffalo!
Patty
Dee,
I remember when you were all hot on NYC and would say it's the only place to be. I find it interesting that you now have a different feel as it oozes from your words. And you decide to bring up a bit of politics and olympics in your goodbye? NYC will be okay and so will you. However...
What about the mecca of music? What about your first band in NYC with that fucking whack job Martin? What about the only place in the world that houses the Ukraine Bar? What about that guy that asked that other guy, "what's your favorite doobie brothers song?" What about a lazy Saturday in Astoria with your gal? What about that store where you can buy Saved By The Bell memoribilia? What about going out to dinner? What about relying on the best god damn public transportation system? What about Long Island? What about having a place for friends to visit? What about living in Harlem? What about going to Coney? What about the NY smell? The life? The action? The diversity? The city?
I don't know, I'm just asking questions. You never called back fucker.
Andrew
Patispoop,
You call it evolution. I call it Progress. So, it's cheaper, so it's easier hence the moniker. But some of us don't like to have the "Man" watch everything we do. And when you haven an EZPass cartridge on your car, the government knows your whereabouts all the time. That's not cool man. That's like Brave New World Shit. Fuck em all.. Fuck the GW.
Dee
Andrew,
If you had read the end of my Ramble you would see that I am leaving New York on a high note. That I am leaving un-jaded. That I am pulling a Coventry as is the new phrase in the Phish lexicon. I am gracefully bowing out of the situation before it becomes more stale. But let's face some facts first and foremost. I am 60% woods and 40% concrete. I cannot satisfy my mojo by keeping the concrete levels at 100%. But you know what? I'll be back. I will be in a city again. It's good times. Queens is not. Don't go to Queens, or Jersey for that matter.
Anyway, I just bought Saved By the Bell Seasons 3&4 last night, and let me tell you good times are flowing.
Will call you later.
Later,
Dee
First off Derek, you aren't a New Yorker. Sure you lived in NYC for a few years, but that doesn't make you a new yorker. If I moved to Kansas and lived there for a couple years I wouldn't call my self a Kansasian-or however the f* you call it. I would still be a new yorker. I'm not trying to hurt your feeling or belittle the feeling you have developed living here or the experiences. Being a New Yorker is more than just living in NYC. It's a state of mind-like the Piano Man says. I admit that I dont' know you as well as some of your older friends, but the little time we spend together working at PES and hanging out after work allowed me a bit of a spectators perspective into your personality. YOu are a suburbs man. You say it yourself-you can't handle 100% concrete. But it's more than that. It's about attitude. It's about how one carries his or herself in this crazy place.
It's about not stressing over things like dog shit, or crowded subways, or little old chinese women falling alseep on your shoulder on the train ride home, or people slamming into your shoulders whilst running for the 1/9. It's about rolling with the punches. It's about knowing when to stick up for yourself. It's difficult to explain. But I'm sure that you can tell from first hand experience that New Yorkers have a different attitude. They carry themselves a certain way. By attitude I don't mean they are all assholes, though many are. Do you catch my drift man? Again no offense my friend. I am impressed with how well you adapted to city life. Too bad you are cutting out cause you are a punk bitch and can't handle living amongst New Yorkers.hehe
AS for the Olympics...I'm against them as well. Bloomberg is running this city like he would run a corporation...like any ceo would run a corporation-who cares what the employees want as long as they can turn a profit. Same thing applies the the proposed Jets stadium.
Get an EZ PAZZ you anti-establishment bastard. The lower level has cash lanes as well.
Well,
I am going to take offense to your statements. Not because I am sensitive but becaue I completely and totally dissagree with you.
The way you have it laid out, it's as if I am giving up or have had enough and that I am not able to handle the hustle and bustle of the city. I can and I do handle it. But I also have the ability to choose not to. Talking down to me like I am some babe in the woods isn't really productive rational thinking now is it?
I'm a nomad by nature. I have moved around my whole life. So why would it be a surprise that I am moving once again? As far as I am concerned living in New York constitutes "being a New Yorker" I am, I was, and I will always consider this palce home (though not Queens).
Anyway, I can go on and on with this stuff because I am defending myself, but that is pointless.
See you in hell bitch.
Dee
There are many times when I am trying to strike a chord, ruffle some feathers. My previous entry was not intended to offend you and the punking out on NYC was just a joke relax.
"isn't really productive rational thinking now is it?"-This is a blogg, there is no need for rational productive thinking. All of your previous entries constitute rambling beyond toleration so bite me.
Furthermore you are being sensitive, and you are not a new yorker. Want to do something about it?
CNR
Hey CNR,
Nice to see you figured out how to spell and grammar check your responses. Much easier to read when it's legible. Then again true New Yorkers have never been about being proper, that's for the ones that made it out of the city.
Thanks,
Suburbia
Listen,
There is no need for the bickering. I know the Great CNR loves to "Ruffle the Feathers", that is his schtick. So I am not surpised.
Love me or leave me bitches.
Latro,
Dee
Some of us will take the leave you.
You all have potty mouths.
I think New York is a fun place to visit. I don't understand why anyone would want to live there. I love the suburbs. I would prefer some island where it is always warm though, and no dog poop in sight, and very stringent leash laws.
I hate it when those without Ez-pass block the Ez-pass lane. There can be no one in the Ez-pass lane but you are 100 yards from the thing, and you can't get by all these jerks who have decided to make a concaved line to the toll booth. I really hate that.
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